UANT Presents: Santa Claus Comes to Antarctica



Dear Student or Patron, please take a look at the proposition of UN / UNICEF's David Inkey, latter day Santa Claus if there is yet one, for a better condition for our children around the globular mass on which we trod.


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     P C !



Since wars begin in the lives of children, it is in the spirits of

                                  children that we must seed the dreams of PEACE.

I have come here today to discuss with you only eleven designs of PC,

planetary concern, planetary conscience, planetary consciousness,

planetary citizenship, planetary curriculum, philosophic champion, 

peace concern, peace construction, peace council, peace counsel,

and personal commitment...  On October 20, l995, eleven of my most faithful

elves, although deeply engaged in preparations for the Celebration of the 50th Anniversary of the United Nations and equally committed to assisting the Great

Pumpkin with all of the O’Lantern Clans and all the children of the world to

celebrate October 3lst, a festival popularly known as Halloween and not widely

enough recognized as UNICEF DAY, urgently called to put me on alert that the

Toor Cummings Center at Connecticut College was in the process of organizing a conference to which I should contribute with singular personal commitment

from my multiple experiences, as a Planetary  Citizen, as a retired

international civil servant, as THE UNITED NATIONS


President of Antarctic University, as author of I WAS A KINDER GARDEN

DROP OUT!, as the sole human representative at the fantastic (decode as

“fantasy”) Galapagos Interspecies Peace Conference (The GIP-C) held in l990

in preparation for UNCED,  the United Nations Conference on Environment and Development, and most particularly as a philosophic champion, summarized in my

logo,  "I am not the champion of lost causes, I am a champion of causes that have

not yet been won.”


Since Time Immemorial, or at least for as long as I can remember, member and pre-member, I have been a sometimes traditionalist and through literature,

the arts, music (though I am tone deaf), snow and ice sculpture and a goodly

and Godly number of other liberal and conservative arts, I have contributed

to the imagination, knowledge, skills and virtues I believe requisite in all gip-c

trauma and triumphs, where among other definitions gip-c is counted as global

identity and planetary concern.  (Note, gip-c is always pronounced as the English

word of different shape but similar sound, gypsy...)


I am not a great pragmatist, except in caring for my own Walden, cooking beans, growing yellow roses, studying about cabbages,  giving candy canes and sharing

love, so I would place less emphasis on seven of the nine pragmatic elements you

list in your announcement than you grant.  Similarly, your conceptual praxis

confines my ever boundless spirit.  I would not reject the attention you give to

seven of, or eight of, your eight topics.  I could (would) even be generous

enough to add enough to give you a dozen or a baker's dozen of concepts.  Some packaging gives products cheaper by the dozen, not just in film and literature. 

I would simply, and not so simply, pre-order (like for Christmas), re-order and

order (like in new world order-ing) the primal quality as prime, The Spiritual. 

Theilard de Chardin has taught me and a few others that we are not human

beings in search of a spiritual experience but that we are spiritual beings in

search of a human(e) experience.  The old French anthropologist may have done

us very few favors digging up so much of our human skeleton(s), but he did us

many favors in global and universal thinking.  Students and faculty, and drop

outs and drop ins, spiritual ones at least, will soon enough discover, uncover,

recover or create, re-create or rec-reate that all the other factors on your

conceptual list will crowd in, avalanche us, and give us more than ample cause

for soulful reflection,  flexion and pre-flexion...  All of this pre and post

action is derived from Stephen Hawkings marvelous quip that we have no (or

little) trouble remembering the past but why cannot we remember the future. 

In Santa’s Workshop we have appreciated the prototype, but we have remodeled Hawkingsware  and pre-structured his language...


If you have been a diligent student of mythology, you know that I am perhaps

the most renowned being in the universe in respect to workshop management. 

You may not have universe retrieval systems, so let us rely sufficiently on our terrestrial accounts.  Santa's Workshop is so globally famous that, I suppose

I should offer to present a modified virtual simulation thereof for you and

your colleagues as you study the future of international (read ‘global’) studies

in the liberal arts context. 


First, let us dispel a scandalous warning many humans use in the Christian

tradition when preparing for Christmas and for the many rituals of giving,

receiving, loving, forgiving, etc., that have developed around this sacred,

s-a-c-r-e-d, day in one of the major religious traditions.  "People" sing or

shout to children, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better be good,

for I am telling you why, Santa Claus is coming...  Have you ever analyzed the

calumny, libelous and character assassination aspects of that little song? 

Parents, especially, but also many others, have for generations scared,

s-c-a-r-e-d, children and scarred kids and bribed “brats” into "good" behavior

rather than, in sacred semblance, enchanted them into goodness because goodness

is a form of Godliness, first presented by some anonymous anyone who

dyslexically forgot  that one "o" is for God and the other "o" is for exclaiming

joy, OH!


You want a bibliography before we know the clients or you want an abstract

describing the "needs, objectives, and vision for (your) institution in the area of international studies and liberal arts."  Hmmmmm... Since, both at the South

Pole and at The North Pole, we do not suffer from the disciplinary divisions you

have established in your institutions of higher education, we do not belabor

faculty, administrative staff and students with unnecessary cargo cults of

“needs, objectives and vision.”  We work with the remnants of imagination and

creativity we have salvaged from traditional schooling systems and we insist

that our students of every description (even some of whom are undescribable)

"own" their own education.  Our objective and our subjective behavior is doubly  premised on a love,  perhaps an insatiable love, for learning...


Nevertheless (neamoins, as the poetic French say),  I give, yes, give outright 

with no wrapping,  strings, or bows connected, a bibliographic package.  I

suppose I would place PETER RABBIT at the top of the global identity

inventory because I remember with unfading joy how much I enjoyed THE

TALE OF  PETER  RABBIT in my childhood and how I member yet in my

childness how much glee and geography he taught me, always to be curious about

what is on the other side of things...  TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE

CHRISTMAS will help my workshop participants understand where I am

coming from and what are some of the multitudinous and  marvelous tasks

I engage at Christmastime. (Note to the Surgeon General and to anti-smoking

lobbyists, I stopped smoking 25 years ago!) Further, I will have to explain that

Santa works 366 days (on leap years).  HAROLD AND THE PURPLE CRAYON

will help participants remember or recapture (rapture) some of the awesome

creativity of childhood.  THE VELVETEEN RABBIT and Veblen's THEORY

OF THE LEISURE CLASS will help us understand class and consciousness

distinctions we too often suffer and/or inflict upon others.  THE OTHER

AMERICAN and LISTEN YANKEE! paint and re-paint a part of our pathos.

Tolstoy's THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS WITHIN and Thoreau's CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE will give us a few lessons in anarchic action, and WALDEN

will ground us as we build castles in the air.  MICROMEGAS and CANDIDE,



RICHARD should join our entourage, and they may wish to bring some of their

friends.  No library of planetary consciousness would be complete without

Twain's THE WAR PRAYER and the little studied gem from the Gulf War: RESOLUTION 688 of The UN Security Council, of April 5, l991, tactically

putting to an end the 343 year story of traditional, modern sovereignty. 

I would also want us to look at the Seneca Falls suffrage efforts of l848,

to greet Sojourner Truth, to study with Spina in BREAD AND WINE, and

with any extra cents and sense we should listen to Paine's COMMON SENSE. 

I think we should read the oldest known peace treaty, that of Ramses II of the Egyptians and Hattusilis of the Hittites, 1269 BC.  If I could sneak in a

miniature edition of Robert Louis Stevenson' s A CHILD'S GARDEN OF

VERSES, I would swing for joy.    GULLIVER'S TRAVELS, UTOPIA,

EROWHON, LOOKING BACKWARD and a few other imaginative maps might

help us understand the tectonic slide between international studies and global



(THE DIARY OF ADAM AND EVE, transcribed by Twain, should also

be made common knowledge, because it tells so devastatingly well  how we got

off to a less than Heavenly start. We failed in our spelling lessons and took the

letters of live, L-I-V-E, and turned them around to evil!  Perhaps on top of the bookshelf we can place a copy of THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS so that we may

learn from both Screewtape and Wormwood the importance of doing both what

we ought to do and what we want to do in this life, before moving to The



So,  liberal arts should have more than their day...but also, global studies should have their time frames.  Sovereignty has been so tragically skewed through our story ("his" story, "her" story, my story and mystery--with one vowel shift), that it is long overdue for us to examine sovereignty both through the liberal arts and international studies: planetary culture and personal commitment.


I put RESOLUTION 688 (April 5, l991) on the "literature list" and now I

repeat it here, because I believe one of the greatest dilemmas in the world

is what we do and do not do with sovereignty.  Further, I will dwell in workshop deliberations (“from the liberation”) on The United Nations because I believe

that is where we currently have our biggest civics lesson.  I was welcomed into

the company of educated men, eons ago, when young Harvard conferred upon me a diploma for my hard-earned doctorate... Do they still use that archaic phrase...

Am I diplomatic because I earned a diploma?  I would have you, and me, and them

and us, and all of us, be, really BE, planetary citizens. To embrace this

endeavor, I would start on  all of us on becoming liberally  literate with the



(l987),  AGENDA 21! (l992), AN AGENDA FOR PEACE (1992), AN AGENDA

FOR DEVELOPMENT (l995) and these would be accompanied by the latest

UN reports on A PROGRAM FOR ACTION (Population l994), AN AGENDA

FOR WOMEN (????),  AN AGENDA FOR HUMANITY (l999?), the latest

United Nations Development Program Development Report, perhaps THE


WORLD'S EDUCATION, certainly one or several reports on the UN

DECADE FOR CULTURE, certainly the most condemning report we can find

on the tragedy of absolute poverty afflicting one-fifth of our fellow human

beings, and certainly reports on disability, iodine deficiency,  refugees and on landmines.  It is "unbelievable" that we have sown over l00 million landmines

where we should be planting food for body and soul.


It is so unconscionable...

that we have planted one landmine for every 60 human(e) beings on Earth!

As the Founding President of Antarctic University (AU, pronounces "awe),

I am of course concerned with questions of property, duties, privileges and

goals.  Sooner or later I will codify how I see the honorable and ornery tasks

these "realities" require.  It will not suffice in the minds of many of our

conferees that I behave like a chevalier and say that I would rather not have

to design and model "program design and models for international studies." 

I would rather have college drop outs, reminiscent of my own opting out

between my sophomore and junior years, who go forth and discover another

sub-culture, another "his"story or version of "our" story... Then, after their

opting out, I would wish that they would opt “in” and return to academia for

further imagineering.  (Einstein taught some of us that imagination is more

important than knowledge!)  I would rather have teams built of  quizzical

faculty,  quizzical administration and quizzical students who believe in their

minds, spirits and hearts that education is not education if it is not international--because many nationness is a reality of our times--and if it is

not global --because globalization is a threatening and thrilling reality of our

times. In addition, I would contend that it be on the AU filled and fielded COMPARATIVE PLANETARY CURRICULUM, for we do not know how soon

we will move to other planets. I speak and write with the authority of being a

kinder garden drop out (later redefined as opt out), a college drop out (but

definitively a college opt out because nothing in the college regime I knew at

that time was helping me find the questions and the answers I needed), and a professional opt out, again because the Academy was failing.  Might we still have

time to name the Connecticut College Conference The FLAG SYMPOSIUM,

with "flag" being the future of liberal arts and global studies..


If we cannot fly enough flags for our inquiry over "ISLA" (Spanish for "island"), International Studies and Liberal Arts, we might move to ethical analysis... 

Therein, I would suggest PEEPS,  peeps being programs in epic ethics and

policy studies.   EPIC ETHICS is at the core of my being and of the operations

of SANTA'S WORKSHOP. The name is Santa's Workshop, but this does not

imply ownership.  The ownership is in the workers cooperative.  Santa's Elves

are too frequently, usually, categorized because of an unfortunate semantic

error with apostrophization in the English language.  The "correct" syntax is

OUR SANTA SELVES WORKSHOP, boldly stated and printed.  (This is the

text of another epistle, not yet composed.) 


In EPIC ETHICS--epic being constructed from equity, ecology, education,

peace, participation, poverty, population, imagination, identity, international (interspecies) cooperation, culture,  creativity and clowning--we will need to

learn, as I am learning in the duties of being the United  Nations Santa, to

study questions.  We need to learn how to answer a 13 year young African

refugee child when she asks us, "Why did you save my life?"  In the New York Foundling Home, and elsewhere where children are not foundlings but are

waifs, we need to be able to understand and have something wise to say

when children ask us innocent questions for which we have no innocent answers.

For the destitute aging here and elsewhere, we need to know why the richest

nation in human "his"tory spends 260 billion dollars on "security" and feels so terrifyingly insecure, and too poor to take care of the society's weaker



Eons ago, millennia before I knew I would grow up to "be" Santa, one of OUR

SANTA SELVES, my Mother--now so many years deceased--asked my innocent

little three and four and five year young self, WHAT IN THE WORLD DO

YOU WANT?  I was not then as "educated" as I am now, and I responded in

polite constraint,  asking simply for another piece of homemade fudge, for

another bowl of homemade popcorn, for another story read out-loud, or

occasionally, when I thought Mom could buy it, for an ice-cream cone...  OH,

it has taken me so many years--three score years--to learn, to discover, to

create, YES, TO IMAGINEER the answer that now means a world of joy to me, 

I WANT THE WORLD!  I want the world of joy, peace, understanding, love,

sharing, fun, concern and clowning.  I want the world where multiculturalists

learn that we belong to the humane race and to the global culture, which, for

practical convenience and for lack of planetary consensus  and for lack of

assistance from my professional colleagues, I have chosen to name GAIA, in

membrance of the Greek Goddess for Earth.


Pioneering is not the easiest task we humanes encounter here on Earth, and we

are indeed very slow learners and we discourage (move away from courage)

very easily, just like we get diseased, moved afar from ease, and we lose contact

with the stars, dwelling in our disasters (distance from the astral).  I have

enjoyed a marvelous liberal arts education and a U N BELIEVABLE (not an unbelievable) continuing education.  I have never been pc, particularly

constricted by the epidemic politically correct (pc).  I have been blessed

with planetary consciousness and personal commitment.  It has been said that

most people seek happiness, I create it.  I hope this is true for you.  Enjoy

             P C!


                                        SANTA CLAUS


PUNS! is a series prepared by David Inkey,


This paper was prepared on October 25, l995,

the first day of the 51st Year of The United Nations.

The talk was never given at conn college or anywhere else, as a talk.